Ghosting: what it is, who does it and how to behave

GRAMaccommodation, that is whisk awayWithout giving no explanation to the couple, thus leaving the other prey to a thousand doubts and questions that will never find an answer. A phenomenon growingson of an era characterized by hit and runin which many times we get carried away by dating apps. they disappear women toobut the ghoster is above all a man. how to recognize in advance the ghost partner And how to safeguard your own psychological well-being?

Ghosting: what does it mean

“People they are not ghosts, they are ghosts, they behave like ghosts and disappear without a trace. There are situations in which, after a long friendship or an equally long love story, one of the two suddenly dissolves. But they are rare cases.

much more likely than disappearance occurs at the beginningeven after a period of 6 months, that may not be enough to talk about yet a story. It’s all very subjective. can we talk about relationship When is both engaged in building the united states» explains the Doctor Marinella Cozzolinopsychotherapist, clinical sexologist and creator of, the online psychologist 7 days a week.

An unread signal

“Many people, at the beginning of a relationship, clear when declaring your intentions. But in front of a: “I don’t want a canonical story”very often the other joins even more, with a clear and simple objective: “I’m going to change my mind”. In this way, take advantage of personal narcissism: “I will succeed.” 99% of people, before the relationship with the other, lives there competition with peer group, for example women with other women. A partner is chosen not only to be with him or her, but also to remove him or her from possible competitors. In the event that a person has already declared his intentions, a possible the disappearance is even more physiological. She can always count on “I told you so from the beginning” », continues the expert.

The lack of responsibility

«Many times the behaviors of those who do ghosting are fruit of a starting ideology: “I’m going to forget about my ex”, “I just want to have fun”, “I’m interested, let’s see what it is”. But then we realize that there is no interest and you don’t want to continue. Its alot hard to say “i don’t like you”Justifies heartbreak, a feeling you don’t feel. That’s when you choose don’t take responsibility and disappear”, clarifies Dr. Cozzolino.

“The truth is that he doesn’t like you enough”

“According to Gestaltalso called forms therapy, to proceed in the course of life it is necessary close circles. A ghost couple, on the other hand, leaves our circle open. Those who suffer from ghosting are the people left in a kind of limbothose who experience disappearance as a doubt: “And if he comes back tomorrow?”. No one is ready to see disappearance as an answer. But nothing, no contact constitutes an answer. Despite hard to accept», emphasizes the expert.

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Who’s being ghosted?

“Y dependent subjectwho tends to get attached even early, is fascinated by avoidant subjectswhat a sign of does not need, which are enough on their own. They move by “I wish I was like you.” The evasive subject, after the third phone call to ask if we’ll see each other that night, runs away. He does not accept having to submit to interrogation. certainly so hard for all agree hurt another person. Not justifiable but understandable, especially since the other party is very demandingvery demanding”, emphasizes Dr. Cozzolino.


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