C.as always Fulvio Scaparro, psychologist and psychotherapist, demolishes clichés, turns prefabricated and comfortable thoughts upside down, especially if they are too serious, and convinces people to trust themselves, leading them to think for themselves. And she puts a smile on our lips when we read what she writes, although the topics she deals with are not always light. Because Scaparro, who is also the writer of numerous essays and short stories and has taught at the State University of Milan for thirty years, knows how to useironybut also toimaginationto the play and hello astonishment to solve certain paradoxes of reality.
He does it again this time, in a new book whose title already announces a reading full of surprises, never boring, which leads to change perspective. And with a reconciling ending, because it suggests how to live with the restlessness and pain of this time, still full of war, death and loss of rights. The title announces this and much more: The retrospective of before. Relearning life from childhood, an unthinkable resource (Salani). We talked about it with him, flipping through the new book.
Recover childhood time to understand who we are today
“There was a time when we looked, felt, tasted, smelled, touched the world with which we had come across without prejudice, absolute beginnersguided solely by the needs and instincts and by the basic equipment, a kind of survival kit provided by hundreds of thousands of years of experience of our species, “explains Scaparro.
“Y extraordinarily important time understand who we are today, but of whom we have no memory except in the stories we have cared for and in the increasingly precise description provided by scientific research. Writes Allan N. Schore, neuropsychologist (Psychotherapy with the right hemisphere, Milan, Cortina, 2022): “The human mind does not form itself, it is the result of relationship. Early childhood events, particularly when they involve emotional relationships, are indelibly printed in the brain structures that mature in the first years of life, located in the right hemisphere of the brain”.
The invitation to observe the children
“This It is not a parenting advice book. but an invitation to all of us, parents or not, grandparents, educators, young or old, to take a closer look at children and what happens around them. I ask the reader to reflect on your own life changing perspective from our first years of life…», suggests Fulvio Scaparro.
The retrospective of before. Relearning life from childhood, an unthinkable resource (Salani).
The old, the new and the history behind each present
«Mine is not an invitation to live with your head turned towards the past, but to don’t live like every morning is the world’s first morning. There is little really ‘new’, the ‘old’ does not disappear but is transformedIt does not arise by parthenogenesis. Furthermore, the ‘new’ is not always a step forward, an improvement, but sometimes the worst of the ‘old’ reappears as ‘new’. Hence my attention to story behind each gift. How do we come to be who we are, to live as we live, to think as we think? In this book we can find some ideas to give us some answers”, explains the author.
There is no peace, but it is done
Towards the end of the book, the author addresses the issue of peace from a perspective far from common places. “We talk a lot about peace as the fundamental interest of all and especially of children… Even in these days of 2022, millions of families live under bombs or anguished by the consequences of ongoing wars, as if the pandemic, the concerns about the state of the planet, poverty, hunger…Each one of us is called not to give up It’s in worktop as much as possible this mad race towards self-destruction by supporting and personally all peace initiatives of local, national and international relations… I hope, however, that initiatives in favor of peace between peoples are supported by people who also practice peace in private, above all in the family“.
“Peace is a way to survive, theconcern It is a common part of being human. In this period we talked about war and peace. There are actions that help reduce the effects of war, children teach us this. They argue and fight, then all of a sudden they make up and go back to playing like nothing happened,” says Scaparro.
The example of children
As the author suggests, in order to feel better and less trapped in the consolidated routine, it would be necessary to reverse the perspective and trying to accomplish an impossible task: being able to observe children (who are masters in creating disorder, surprise, paradox) and try to imagine what they really need. “Limerik, nonsense, calembour, not very popular in Italy, they are bislaccherie that children like… It is true that children want security, they love rituals… And yet, they are fags by nature and have a lot of fun shuffling the cards , to dirty any order form for then rediscover, recompose, the picture of its certainties“, Scaparro writes in the book.
GeA Association, Padres Otra Vez, since 1987 the commitment to family mediation
Fulvio Scaparropsychologist and psychotherapist, is the founder of theGeA Association, for 30 years committed to supporting couples in crisis through family mediation. Not being able to count on public financing, the available resources do not allow strengthening the existing one and carrying out new projects. That is why the Association requests a contribution to provide help and support to separated parents so that the end of a marital project does not degenerate into a war, with serious damage to the children and high costs for the entire community. GeA by becoming a member and/or contributing to “help help” those who need to find peace in the family by joining (annual membership fee €50), by paying a donation of more than €50, d.
How to support the GeA Association
To contribute to the commitment of the GeA Association in conciliating family relationships, it is possible:
- join the GeA Genitori Ancòra Association associazionegea.it (annual membership fee € 50.00)
- pay a donation of more than €50.00
- donate 5 per thousand of the income statement. It is enough to put your signature in the box “support for volunteers and other non-profit social utility organizations, social promotion associations and recognized associations and foundations that operate in the sectors referred to in art. 10 c. 1 lit. a of Legislative Decree no. 460 of 1997″ present in all the forms for the income statement of natural persons (Unico, 730, CUD, etc) and enter the tax code CF 97059120150).
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